LunarCakez

Hello lovely people, I am kind of back and can gladly tell you that Mumma Cakez is out of hospital! She's still very ill and weak but finally slowly on the mend! Thank you for those who wished her well from in my previous status update and whatnot, it’s been a really crazy time. <3

I’m going to shorten the story of what happened because it is quite a long crazy one and lots happened and this is like my fifth time rewriting this because it’s hard for me write without reliving it. Oh, and let me first start by saying no, it was not Covid.

So we had a heatwave along the south coast here in England a few weeks back. Mumma Cakez was good, drank lots to stay hydrated... Mumma Cakez was then really sick constantly for hours... I rang 999 and they didn’t take it seriously because she was still classified as ‘conscious’... took ages to come and when they did her stats were 'normal'... because oh! It's quite normal to be lying on the floor in vomit, barely conscious, unable to move and throwing up for hours!! After I made a fuss, they eventually agreed to take her to hospital... she then had a seizure when they got her in the ambulance... I couldn't go with her, because covid...

Throughout the early hours of the morning a doctor rang to tell me she was in intensive care and that they had to put her in an induced coma... She apparently ‘drank too much water’ which caused swelling on the brain, triggering seizures etc... she was in a coma for few days... they had trouble bringing her out of the coma... when they did bring her round, they for some reason put her on an antipsychotic drug for SOME REASON without telling me and it had horrific side effects that made her hallucinate and other stuff you would only imagine to see in a horror film or Victorian insane asylum... she also had a secondary infection from the ventilator and such more...

oh, and to top it all off she’s lost a lot of memory but is constantly triggered with bits of memory from when she was hallucinating. So I can’t talk to her about things without triggering bits of trauma for her and she can't talk to me without triggering me...

I tried speaking over the phone to my brother, but he doesn’t really ‘do’ emotions... I messaged my sister who never responded (they both live far away)... we don’t have external family. The odd family friend have kindly been able to step in and various friends of theirs because I suffer badly from complex intractable epilepsy myself so managing my own seizures has been difficult and I can't be left alone... oh and stress and lack of sleep are major triggers for me! whaaat fun!..

Mumma Cakez is more than a mum to me, she’s my friend and full-time carer for when I’m usually ill. We're very close so obviously seeing her in such a state was hard enough... and I should be grateful that my mum is okay and didn’t die! I mean, of course I am. But I’d be lying without admitting that I think it all could have gone a lot better too... and the lack of aftercare support for my mum has been hidious too. She has at the end of the day had brain trauma and not one medical professional has even rang to ask how she is or even say how much she should be drinking.

I am just still in shock and so very very tired at the moment and feeling a bit reclusive lately... I’ve experienced quite a few sudden deaths in my life already, one being literally this time last year where I saw my grandfather die in the very same hospital without water. (Hahaa, what fun timing. Not.) So yeah. That's basically what happened.

Anyways. I don't know where this is going. My rant is now over. Sorry it's rather bitter and if you made it this far, then congrats and thank you for listening to me moaning about my personal life!.. Oh and on a complete different note, I hopfully plan to continue Hollow Shades as soon as I can now, just to at least get my mind off things if anything... I hope you are all doing well... and umm... I'll end it on a corny lesson because why not:

Life is precious. Life is too short. Cherish it well while you can.

....And don’t drink too much water, kids!!!